Demons of Distraction

People across the country were amused by the tale of a family whose “holiday stress” began even before Halloween: the young parents set out with their five-year-old and three-week-old infant to enjoy a corn maze on a pleasant fall afternoon.

They were probably glad to get out of the house after many sleepless nights with a newborn, and figured the walk would be soothing for the baby and amusing for the preschooler. However, it was slow going with the kids, and before they knew it, everyone else had cleared out, darkness fell, and hordes of hungry mosquitos descended upon them. Exhausted, disoriented and panicking, they called 911 on their cell phone and had to be “rescued” by a police tracking dog. Naturally, it turned out that they were only a few yards from an exit—but the Fatigue Demon had impaired their ability to cope with the situation.

Once the Thanksgiving holiday hits, the entire end of the year can seem like a giant labyrinth to be navigated. You can easily lose your way—literally as well as figuratively! I was reminded of this when I ventured to Costco for holiday supplies and ended up “schlepping” a cart full of goodies from row to row in the jam-packed parking lot, trying to find my car and muttering obscenities as the cold wind whipped through my thin sweater.

At least I’m not the only one; with so many things to think about and accomplish in such a short time, it’s no wonder everyone gets distracted. I happened to follow a pair of teens at the mall who were so caught up in their shopping spree that they completely failed to notice where they had parked. They complained noisily about all of their upcoming holiday obligations as they lugged their packages from level to level, trying to find the right mall exit. And I had to chuckle at the tale of a friend who left a fitness center spinning class on an endorphin high, only to be brought down to reality when dragging his workout gear around the parking lot in the rain, frantically clicking his key fob and searching for flashing taillights because he couldn’t remember where his car was. Holiday madness can cause minor glitches like these, or more serious ones like losing purses or wallets or getting into fender-benders.

Too much on your plate? You need to expect that the rushing and stress associated with the holidays will result in some forgetfulness and disorganization—but you can learn to reduce the possible overwhelm and resulting distraction.

Consider the timing: there is a lull in the week or two after Thanksgiving when the pressure eases a bit, but by mid-December, holiday hassles are in full swing. Take advantage of this window right now to avoid the worst of the stress mess and time-wasting: use projecting, planning, and protecting. Here are some suggestions:

Projecting: First, it helps to get out of your head and onto a piece of paper (or portable electronic device) all the things that you think must be done. For example:

-          Specify the parties you will host or attend and items or dishes you must bring.

-          Jot down the gifts to get, cards to send and any other communication or mailing responsibilities that need to be accomplished.

-          Itemize the cleaning, organizing and food shopping that you need to do.

After you make your lists, review them, asking, “What items are not absolutely necessary? Can any jobs or responsibilities be delegated? Can some meals be reclassified as a ‘potluck’ where others contribute a dish or course?”

Planning: Second, it helps to move items from a list to a calendar.  Think about how long each task might take. Be generous with your time estimates. How often have you underestimated the complexity or cumbersome nature of a task and overestimated your skills at getting a job done?  Allot times each day or week to get a bit done. Perhaps you schedule time on a weekend to prepare and freeze some appetizers, main dishes or desserts. Or, perhaps you plan ahead to buy packing materials needed to send gifts to those who live out of town.  Whether it’s making out the holiday cards, wrapping gifts, cooking or cleaning, if it is important, schedule it.

Protecting: Third, it helps to protect some of your time to keep stress at a minimum and to get the rest and relaxation you need for the extra work (and enjoyment) of the holiday season. You might have to ask others to help you schedule short breaks and rest times—even during the busiest times. You might consider building in time to exercise. Given the inevitable food excesses, wouldn’t it be nice to avoid gaining holiday weight by increasing your exercise routine? In addition, block out private time with those who will visit. It’s no fun for guests to see the host running around without a minute to enjoy the ones he or she loves.

Unlike the family stuck in the corn maze, you can’t call 911 to help you find your way through the Thanksgiving-to-New-Years craziness. It’s impossible to banish all the distractions that surround the holiday season, but you can help reduce the most difficult ones by planning ahead and taking action. In case you need a quick stress buster, turn on some great music or watch a calming nature scene such as the one below that features penguins.

You’ve heard someone say, “I’d love to be in the movies” or “I wish I could win a gold medal.” We all have some seemingly unrealistic dreams and too often, the decades go by and we forget about them.

Not our uncle, Ed Gluklick: at 86, he was an extra in Gran Torino a 2008 American drama film directed by, produced by and starring Clint Eastwood. Hearing that it would be filmed in Detroit, he got his professional head shots and went to the audition. As we were unaware of his adventure, when we watched the film, we were surprised to see him in the jury box sporting a bow tie!

Always disciplined, Uncle Eddie swims regularly. At 89, he entered the 27th ANNUAL DETROIT SENIOR OLYMPICS held in mid June. He won gold medals for the 50 meter Free Style and the 1500 Meter Race Walk.

Now that he has reached his 90^th birthday, the question is, “What’s next?’ Uncle Eddie is a role model for us all.

Years ago, my three youngsters pulled and tugged at me as I was getting out of the car. We were at the busy, almost-filled airport parking structure. Of course, a few minutes behind schedule and distracted, I locked the keys in the car and was unable to get the luggage for our trip to the Big Apple.  We were on the way to grandma’s house.  I landed at LaGuardia with three youngsters under 10, two coloring books, one box of crayons, and a bag of pretzels. Luckily, my husband brought the suitcases the next day, but I don’t have to go into detail about the stress.

Going alone or with family, we need to be cognizant of the ways we can avoid travel stresses or manage them positively, if they occur. During holiday journeys, the phrase, “Hope for the best, but plan for the worst,” is the way to de-stress.

Millions of people will fly over the holiday season on planes stuffed nearly to capacity. You don’t need a statistical study to make you aware that travel stress is reaching new heights. Some of the factors that lead to the stress at airports are more intense security checks, more disruptions due to inappropriate cell phone use, and rudeness by fatigued travelers—and sometimes airline personnel—when there are delays or cancellations.  You may avoid these problems when driving or riding the rails, but each of those types of transportation has their own stresses. In short, travel is a heap of hassle during the holiday season.

Here are some tips to help to de-stress holiday travel:

1. Plan ahead and take it slow. Stop trying to do that last-minute task in the office or house before you leave.
2. Make a list of essentials that you or others need to take. Imagine the places you’ll be or the worst-case scenarios that could arise and think of things you need, such as calming music or funny movie on DVD.
3. Bring a few creature comforts in case you can get some shuteye. For example, even kids might like a set of soft earplugs, a story on a CD or podcast, a neck pillow, or eye covers. If kids bring a favorite toy, tie or clip it to the backpack!
4. Be a savvy packer. Plan wardrobes to fit in one, carry-on case.
5. Bring empty water bottles to fill after security checks, and healthy snacks or sandwiches.
6. Review with your family three sure-fire ways to reduce stress if it occurs. This includes deep breathing, singing a song or remembering some positives.
7. Engage in some form of exercise in case of long delays. Even walking or climbing stairs can take the edge off when you’re fidgety, stiff or bored.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Did you read the writing on the wall in my last blog post?[http://demonsofdistraction.com/blogpart-i-do-i-need-help/] Have you decided that your small business would benefit from hiring an assistant? Whether you work in an office, at home or off-site, you have a number of options.

First, you have to assess your needs. There will always be business tasks that are not your favorite or your strongest area of aptitude. If you are planning to pay for outside assistance, however, you should focus on getting help in those areas that would improve your profitability and grow your business. Determine frequency and scheduling: full-time, part-time or occasional? Secondly, consider the level of expertise you need: it may be someone highly specialized, or merely someone who is smart, motivated and organized. You must also be able to work comfortably with an assistant, so pay attention to his or her communication skills and manner. A possible third decision is to consider a virtual assistant rather than an on-site person.

A number of my colleagues use a virtual assistant: a freelance person who works from his or her location using the Internet and telephone to communicate with you, and who is hired only for the tasks you specify. These colleagues find it easier to supervise and monitor results this way. Depending on your situation, this could be more efficient and cost-effective. VA Networking [http://www.vanetworking.com/virtual-assistant-cost-comparison.htm ], a forum for these professionals, reminds employers that, “Although the Virtual Assistant’s hourly rate is more than the employee’s rate in the first place, you save the cost of benefits and overhead that would have to be applied to the new employee’s wage.”

In my case, I invited several interns from a nearby business college program to set me up with the Quick Books Pro system. While doing so, they determined that using a certain vendor to sell my products was actually losing me money—a very helpful insight. My present business assistant, Karen, helps me keep up with Quick Books about twice a month so that invoices are sent on time and revenues offset expenses.

My other priority turned out to be assistance with writing projects. I hired a student to file research materials, past publications, and general office paper clutter. Improving my writing environment and having easier access to my resources has increased my productivity; for example, it only took a third of the time it has taken in the past to complete the References section of my upcoming book, “Actions against Distractions: Saving Your Scattered, Disorganized, and Forgetful Mind.” I also now employ the services of two types of editors: one for less formal, ongoing writing needs, and another, professional editor for manuscripts.

There is no single formula for finding a good assistant, but I have found that it helps  to stay open to and aware of the resources in your social, professional and community networks. As mentioned above, I have often turned to the local colleges for student interns and employees; some may work for academic credit, while others charge reasonable hourly fees in order to gain experience. I became connected to other valued employees through family members, volunteer work, and even fitness training!

Of course, needs and priorities change just as the business climate changes: I am still considering further assistance with graphic design, social media and other areas of technology and marketing. Like many, I used to think that I “should” be able to do it all, but the realities of running a small business have taught me that in fact, I shouldn’t and I mustn’t.

Here are some steps to follow as you launch the process of hiring some help:

1. Go to a quiet, non-distracting location, away from your business. For some, the library would be best, for others, only Starbucks will do.
2. Relax for a few minutes so you can get your “thinking cap” on and be in a business frame of mind.
3. Spend at least 15 to 30 minutes visualizing your last few weeks, then jot down tasks that you hate, avoid, do poorly or do inefficiently.
4. List the positive and negative consequences that are related to each item you listed. Consider consequences that are related to time, money, energy and satisfaction.
5. Nail down the skills required by an assistant to complete a few of the tasks. For example, does the person need to be tech savvy? Do they need specific skills with Microsoft Office, Quick Books or social media?
6. Budget your estimated costs: given the consequences you listed and the skill level you need, how much are you willing to spend to hire someone on a temporary or project basis? For instance, a high school student doing filing may be $8-$10 an hour, a college student handling bookkeeping from $10-$15, and a specialized virtual assistant for manuscript preparation from $25 to $35 an hour.
7. Keep a sense of humor. Even the best assistants make mistakes. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/28/production-assistant-news-blooper_n_911985.html).

Are you a small business owner, as I am? There are so many aspects to running a successful business that you can become overwhelmed with responsibilities.  But when the economy is tight, how do you make the case for hiring another person?  You may think that you’re saving money by doing almost everything yourself; on the contrary, you’re probably costing yourself time, money and energy on tasks best done by others.

As I built my business, I became aware of several nagging issues that weren’t being addressed:

• I was spending increasing amounts of time working directly with clients, and that meant falling behind in basic business practices like bookkeeping, invoices and inventory. Fitting in these tasks on the spur of the moment was not cost-effective; income and expenses have to be tracked on a regular basis.
• As my list of clients grew, I wanted to serve them better—but I didn’t have an efficient database system to manage communication and logistics. For instance, I was full of good intentions to send holiday greetings with information about new products and services, but I didn’t have time to reformat the program that printed address labels!
• I encountered many opportunities to write articles and produce publications relating to my business, but I found the editing, citation and submission processes so time-consuming that I couldn’t take advantage of all of them. I was also running into problems trying to find my research data when I needed it because it wasn’t archived efficiently.

In general, I knew that I wasn’t using technology wisely to help me with all of these issues, and I didn’t have the time or expertise to implement what I needed. It was stressful to realize that so long as I ignored this situation, I was probably blowing chances to grow my business. According to business gurus (http://blog.morebusiness.com/2011/05/do-you-need-to-hire-an-assistant-for-your-small-business/), there are 5 signs indicating that you might benefit from hiring an assistant:

• “Clutter – is your place of business (home or office) cluttered with piles of unorganized and unfiled papers and other materials? This is a sure sign you might have use for an assistant.
• Unanswered mail – Do you have stacks of mail and email that you simply do not have time to pay attention to? Yes, an assistant could be your answer.
• Unprocessed orders – Are you behind in processing orders for your products? Another body can help keep your business in the black by fulfilling sales orders.
• 16-hour workdays – Are you working from 6am to 10pm every day? This is a sure sign of quick burnout and that it is time to hire an assistant.
• Unwillingness to delegate – Do you have trouble letting other people do any task related to your new small business? While it can be tough to let go of certain tasks, the first step is recognizing you have a problem with delegation.”

Eventually, I hired several people—both short- and long-term—to assist me with technology usage, business management, writing projects and data storage. I’m now better able to access what I need, track my business activities and focus on what I love about my work.

If you’re tossing and turning in bed each night, worrying about the tasks you didn’t complete; if you’re waking up already exhausted by the “to do” list ahead; or if you’re not feeling the overall sense of accomplishment or satisfaction that running your own business should give you, consider reaching out and getting some help. In next week’s blog post, Part 2 will provide ideas on how to go about finding an assistant.

The presentation was going great. Facing 100 women who were eager to learn how to banish the Demons of Distraction from their work- and home-life, I was in the middle of an entertaining anecdote which would skillfully illustrate an important, Demon-busting technique. Suddenly, a cell phone rang, completely shattering my flow. Audience members were craning their necks in all directions, ready to glare at the rude and inconsiderate person who had neglected to silence her ringer—but the noise just kept droning on. As I stood at the podium, it eventually dawned on me: “Oh my gosh. That’s my phone!”