Posts by Geri:

Workplace Bullying

May 17th, 2012

Bullying is an ugly aspect of childhood, but at least we get to leave that behind when we grow up, right? Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. Workplace bullying isn’t talked about as much, but it happens all too frequently. Others in our lives can become Demons of Distraction who interfere with our productivity and success. If you’ve ever had a bullying supervisor or co-worker, you are all too aware of the ways in which this type of Difficult Person can sabotage all of your workplace interactions.  In my upcoming book, Actions Against Distraction, I discuss those who engage in persistent, offensive, intimidating or insulting behavior. This may include teasing, gossiping, work interference, humiliation, threats and verbal abuse.

What is particularly shocking is that, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) [http://www.workplacebullying.org/ ], no U.S. state has yet enacted any law that protects workers from this type of bullying. Current “harassment” laws only address discrimination based specifically on civil rights status such as race, gender or recognized physical disability. This means that a person who is randomly singled out for abuse often has a difficult time seeking legal redress.

I have seen this happen to some of my clients, especially those with a “hidden” disability. They may never have been formally diagnosed with attention or learning conditions—or they may choose not to disclose that sort of disability because they fear negative repercussions. However, they need to use certain coping strategies to succeed. Julian, for example, is a college student who landed an internship at a renowned law firm. He is extremely intelligent but has auditory processing problems. He was assigned to a high-powered, smooth-talking attorney who couldn’t spare a moment for Julian until he was speeding down the hallway toward his next court date. Then he would force Julian to tag along at his heels while he barked a rapid-fire list of orders at him as he retreated. Naturally, Julian would only get about half the message. Later, the attorney would become irritated and berate Julian in front of the other lawyers in the firm, who snickered when he cracked, “For a supposedly smart kid, you sure are slow on the uptake.”

If an employee requires some extra time to learn a new skill, or needs to ask and repeat more questions than the average worker in order to master it, this can be seen as deficit or vulnerability by colleagues who are particularly judgmental or aggressive (or who have their own vulnerabilities). A bullying boss may “know better” than to harass someone in a wheelchair, but feel perfectly free to label a person who processes numbers more slowly or makes spelling errors due to dyslexia as “stupid.” There are also plenty of employees who have no chronic disabilities but who also become more vulnerable when the economy is bad, when technological change happens too quickly or when there are personal problems at home. Workplace bullies will take advantage of any kind of power imbalance.

How you deal with a workplace bully depends in part on the type and severity of the abuse. WBI recommends first recognizing that the situation is not your fault: “The source of the problem is external. The bully decides how to target and how, when, and where to harm people. You did not invite, nor want, the systematic campaign of psychological assaults and interference with your work.”

If you feel that you can safely confront the person who is causing you problems, here is a procedure that you can follow, from Actions Against Distractions:

• Use your logic and problem solving skills to prepare a script that includes the following:
1. Visualize and describe the situation.
2. Write out the feelings and thoughts you want to express.
3. Specify what you want.
4. Talk about positive and/or negative consequences and specify a goal.
• Rehearse your script. “Practice makes perfect” works for social skills, too. Plan, write notes, and schedule times to practice. Consider working with a colleague or friend, or using an audio or video recording as a practice aid.



Julian was able to do this. He asked to speak with the attorney privately. He told him, “Yes, I am smart and capable, but I’m completely new to this work and I am sometimes slow to take in everything that you’ve said. I need to take my time to write down and clarify your instructions. I want to do a good job for you, and I would think that you’d want this, also, since it would benefit you more in the long run.” By focusing on the potential of getting a better “product” or outcome, Julian succeeded in winning some changes in his supervisor’s behavior. It wasn’t a perfect, happy ending, but at least the attorney never again chastised him in front of others at the office.

This “Daily Muse” contribution to Forbes Magazine provides some helpful tips for dealing with electronic bullying: http://www.forbes.com/sites/dailymuse/2012/02/27/3-workplace-bullies-and-how-to-stand-up-to-them/ . If workplace bullying becomes so severe that your health and well-being are threatened, you may need further assistance, such as the services provided by http://www.workplacebullying.org/. Ultimately, as WBI says, “Employers control the work environment. When you are injured as a result of exposure to that environment, make the employer own the responsibility to fix it.”

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Distracted Driving

April 6th, 2012

Hearing about successes from clients who have succeeded despite their challenges is immensely uplifting—but I also end up hearing horror stories that are chilling. Recently, a college student reported to me that he’d been in a car accident: he was fiddling with radio buttons for just an instant and accidentally drifted into the wrong lane. He panicked, overcorrected and ended up careening down an embankment, crashing into a large tree. Because it was a side impact, the car airbags didn’t even deploy to protect him. If the vehicle hadn’t been slowed a bit by some small shrubs and saplings prior to hitting the mature tree, he might not have made it. “I wasn’t even on the phone!” he exclaimed, which led me to wonder how much worse it might have been if he was.

As if to answer that question, the media picked up on a story in mid-March about a Canadian man who lost his girlfriend to a texting-and-driving accident. The two were in the midst of exchanging tender messages of love when she plowed into the back of a truck on the highway and lost her life. Heartbroken and filled with regret, the boyfriend started a Facebook page to save others from this tragic fate [http://thechronicleherald.ca/canada/73340-boyfriend-girl-killed-crash-warns-against-texting-while-driving].

We all know intellectually that distracted driving is bad: the U.S. government reports that it is now a leading cause of auto accidents and death [http://www.distraction.gov/], with 3000 people killed in 2010 alone. Many states either have or are in the process of enacting legislation that bans using handheld devices and/or texting while driving a vehicle. Still others want to crack down even further on actions like eating, drinking, shaving or putting on makeup in the driver’s seat. We are quick to curse other drivers when their inattention causes us inconvenience or danger. And yet…many of us still continue to rationalize those times when we “just need to check that one message” or “just need to let someone know I’m on the way” or whatever excuse we use.

Even I have found it difficult to apply logic to a situation I find myself in every day. In my many life roles as educator, consultant, spouse/parent/grandparent and friend, my default setting is to be available and in contact with people at all times—but I spend a lot of time in the car.  When someone is trying to reach me or I think of something that needs to be accomplished or communicated, my reflex is to grab that cellphone and get it done right away. And let’s face it: answering a call or receiving a text message provides instant, short-term gratification, whereas it’s difficult to feel a tangible sense of reward from the thought that, “I stopped a negative behavior and therefore may have prevented an accident.”

It’s taken determination and vigilance to put certain conscious changes into practice over time, but I do it because I know how my family would feel if I got hurt, and how I would feel if I caused harm to others due to distracted driving. Below are some of the rules I’ve made for myself.

• I tell others that I’m going to be driving and therefore not answering the phone until I stop.
• I leave my phone in my purse, in the back seat.
• I set the radio stations or load the CD player/iPod prior to moving.
• If I absolutely need to be reachable, I pull over in a safe spot to answer or make a call.
• To replace the pleasurable aspects of talking on the phone, I listen to preset music, interesting podcasts or recorded books.
•  I use the attention I would have spent on my cellphone to appreciate nature and the scenery more as I drive around. It sounds corny, but it really helps!

What about you? Leave me a comment about distracted driving and how you are trying to minimize its occurrence.

Although we take the skill of driving for granted, we have to actively fight the many Demons of Distraction that can attack us on the road. Try to minimize fatigue, stress, and rushing before you get behind the wheel; then give this task your full attention so everyone makes it to their destination safely. As the Canadian man above would attest, real hugs and kisses are much better than text message XXXs and OOOOs.

 

 

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Been under the weather—or the knife? Stay focused on your recovery.

March 12th, 2012

Sometimes it seems like everyone you know is experiencing some kind of medical procedure or challenge. One friend/colleague is recovering from a double mastectomy and another is doing well after a knee replacement. Both of these women normally lead busy lives full of family, community and professional endeavors. How can such patients regain strength after an operation? What can they and their families do to ensure a recovery that contributes to their long-term good health?

First and foremost, they must commit (and in some cases, submit) to the gradual nature of the healing process.  When people who are otherwise healthy, strong and competent go through surgery, they may lack the insight and awareness of the negative impact that a medical incident has, both physically and mentally. Typical overachievers who try to deny medical realities are their own worst enemies. Too often, they are distracted by the urge to get right back to business as usual.

For example, hospital stays have been shortened from what they used to be, so patients go home earlier in the recuperation cycle. The Illness/Medication Demon fools them into thinking that this means they can return to normal routines immediately. They may reason, “Well, I don’t have to move around to use my smart phone or laptop, so I might as well get back to work on emails and such…” For most, however, the overwhelming level of fatigue following illness or surgery comes as a shock. When I went through it, I called this short shelf life: no sooner had I taken a shower and dressed then my body decided that it was time to take a nap! Like a lovely ice cream dessert, my energy had melted away within a few short minutes.

If post-surgical or –illness patients don’t allow sufficient time for a full recovery, they put themselves at risk for complications or relapse. The Illness/Medication Demon can erode performance even in one’s most highly skilled areas of expertise, leaving someone vulnerable to accidents and mistakes.

If you’ve had a recent illness and you or those around you notice decreased levels of energy, alertness or strength, follow these suggestions:

• Consider postponing challenges until you have fully recovered and know you can muster your attention for the time required to successfully complete the task.
• Assess your readiness to resume normal activities and discuss your situation with your physician or other healthcare provider.
• Listen to family or friends when they ask (plead) with you to take it slower.
• List the demands on your attention, describing when, where, what, and how well things need to be completed.
• Identify the resources and support needed to complete the task.
• Consider worst-case scenarios given the nature of your illness and the demands of the task. Then think of ways to head off those scenarios.

In this era of medical technology, it’s quite likely that at some point, everyone will experience joint replacement or some other type of surgery or medical event. You can be your own best friend—rather than worst enemy—by faithfully following the rehab regime prescribed by your physician, allowing for a lengthy period of fatigue and praising rather than castigating yourself for healing activities like naps and downtime.

(Portions of this blog were taken from Defeating the 8 Demons of Distraction: Proven Strategies to Increase Productivity and Decrease Stress.  In upcoming blogs, look for excerpts from Geri’s newest book, Actions Against Distractions: Managing Your Scattered, Disorganized and Forgetful Mind.)

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Stop the “I’ll do it later” Habit

February 29th, 2012

I know that most IRS and insurance tasks must be completed on time. However, there are some seemingly less important forms of taxation that I put off and say, “I’ll do it later!”

This occurred recently when faced with Form L-4175, a personal property statement from the city assessor’s office that requires a list of all furniture and equipment in an office. What a drag. Just glancing at the form with its boxes and spaces triggered an avoidance reaction. I wasn’t quite sure of how to fill it out and it stayed on the desk for weeks. Finally, at the last minute, I got some advice, completed it, and mailed it.

Most people at one time or other say, “I’ll do it later.” The reasons for procrastination vary: you’re interrupted, lack the energy or hate the task. Is it a big deal? The questions to ask are,

• “How often do I put off important tasks?”
• “Do they ever get done?”
• “What are the consequences when they’re done late or not at all?”

It’s one thing to neglect mundane tasks like washing the car or cleaning your house, but it’s quite another to ignore your taxes, insurance payments or medical visits.

Occasional procrastination helps you avoid tedious, boring or distasteful tasks and perhaps lowers stress—in the short term. Excessive procrastination, however, wastes time, money and energy. In the end, avoidance of important tasks usually increases stress and may lead to the loss of opportunities.

One strategy to stem procrastination is to schedule time for tedious tasks. For some tasks, planning a regular, monthly or quarterly time works best. For example, during such times, you may fill out travel vouchers, organize tax receipts and schedule appointments. For other tasks, it is best to plan times on a weekly or daily basis. Whatever the rotation, it needs to be a routine or habit. Plan to accomplish the task, do it, and enjoy a sense of accomplishment.

Currently, the use of smart phones helps many procrastinators to stop the “I’ll do it later” pattern. They carve out a time for the odious tasks, set an alarm, and bless their digital gadgets when the alarm reminds them to start.

Here are some action steps to help you curb procrastination tendencies:

1. Identify the most common times during which you say, “I’ll do it later.”
2. What feelings, tasks or interactions are you actually trying to avoid by procrastinating? What are the costs of your procrastination?
3. Consider whether you need additional help or resources. For example, are there important tasks that you hate and could delegate to others?
4. Write on a calendar when, where, and for how long you will begin to work on one task that you tend to put off.
5. Plan a way to recognize and reward your effort.

If you drag your feet when it comes to IRS taxes, you’re not alone. The IRS estimates that 10.3 million individuals will apply for a six-month extension this year.  Some people need extensions because of illness or business situations. Others seek extensions because they procrastinate and even then, they wait until the last minute.

In the late 19^th Century, William James, the psychologist and philosopher, said, “Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.”   A contemporary take on getting lost in a maze of procrastination is provided by Ellen DeGeneres:


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Don’t Be Distracted from Planning for Your Later Years

February 16th, 2012

Guest Post by Jane Heineken



My husband probably notices it more than anyone else these days: the newest frown line fossilizing into my forehead, the unusually long lapses into silence on the car rides, the hesitation when friends casually ask what’s new. The distraction of worrying about elderly family members underlies daily life like a constant ground fog.

My parents’ life situation—as well as our relationship—reads like a Facebook status: it’s complicated. My sister and I wish nothing more than for them to be in a safe, comfortable environment where their many needs are met and they are able to enjoy the things and people that still give them pleasure. Unfortunately, they are not, due to a mixture of bad breaks, bad decisions and decades of denial and resistance. As we approach the half century mark ourselves, she and I ponder how we might choose a different road for our own future. I think it requires taking on the Unruly Mind Demon: the distractor that has you focusing on the wrong things.

We live in a culture that emphasizes the negative aspects of aging, and of course, there are plenty: physical limitations and medical crises, emotional losses and financial challenges. Worrying about these things may cause feelings of sadness and fear, which can make it difficult to think and act in productive ways. We’ve all seen Hollywood stars pursue a youthful outward appearance at the expense of their overall health. Fear can drive people to focus on material objects instead of relationships or to procrastinate rather than tackling tasks while they still have the strength and energy to complete them. Worst of all, fear can prevent family members from discussing important topics such as end-of-life care, creating bad feelings right at the time when loved ones need each other most. However, neither obsession nor avoidance can prevent the march of time. Change is always scary, but if we wish for a life of both long length and good quality, we need to push through the fears that hijack our thoughts and distract us from becoming informed, making choices and taking action while we still have the ability to do so.



Going through these experiences with my parents has inspired me to look for positives to counterbalance the negatives. Broadening my friend circle to include older adults outside my family gives me other perspectives and models to follow. [See also: http://demonsofdistraction.com/blog/2011/11/21/don%e2%80%99t-let-your-age-distract-you-from-your-dreams/ ] Becoming involved in community service, such as Christmas caroling in area nursing homes and visiting with the residents, has also been an uplifting activity. Dialoging with others of my generation about elder-care and our own coming senior years has brought an unexpected measure of understanding and support. Should my husband and I be granted the privilege of an old age, I know it won’t be easy for us or for my daughter. But I hope that we will have taken care of many of the situational and procedural matters in a timely manner so that we can focus on enjoying each other and the rest of our family.

Jane Heineken has been a Managing Your Mind staffer since 2006. She is a graduate of Eastern Michigan University and Washtenaw Community College. Her special interests include child development, family communication, and cross-cultural communication.

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Distraction and the Ferocious Fatigue Demon

January 23rd, 2012

Sometimes, when I’m tossing and turning in bed at night about something that I need to get done, I just have to vow, “I’ll do it first thing tomorrow!” However, that doesn’t always take into account the reality of 6:30 am on a cold, dark, Michigan winter morning. So here I sit, bleary-eyed and rather fuzzy before my first cup of coffee, but determined to cross this task off my list and move on. Gary Madvin and I have completed a book that’s ready to go to the publisher; it’s time to obtain a domain name and a website so we can plan our marketing strategy. The title of the book is, “Finding Happiness with Aristotle: Action Strategies Based on 10 Timeless Ideas.”

I yawn and begin going through online menus. I’ve purchased domain names before; no big deal. Oh, no; the domain name I want, “Finding Happiness.com,” is taken. Drat. It’s too early to be creative.  I rub my eyes and search for a while, and eventually discover that www.HappinesswithAristotle.com is available. I log in, type it into the box, and pay for it. Then a confirmation email arrives, thanking me for purchasing www.HappinesswithArtistotle.com. Wait, what? Artistotle?? Did I really just misspell the name of an ancient sage that I’ve been studying for months?

I have fallen prey to an attack by the ferocious Fatigue Demon. This is not the kind of action that Aristotle recommends to achieve a happy life. I am not at all happy. I picture Aristotle peering down at me from the Heavens as the dawn breaks, scowling or sneering or perhaps thoroughly amused at the site of this woman sitting in front of a laptop in her pajamas, her hands buried in her bed-head-tousled hair. I really, really should have had my morning coffee before I went online.

Fortunately, the customer service guru at www.godaddy.com is sympathetic to my plight and saves the day. He refunds the misspelled name and rights my wrong.

Reflecting on my silly mistake, I see that it wasn’t random or silly; it was all very predictable: stressing about my responsibilities led to insufficient sleep and lack of alertness. Luckily, I was able to get things corrected—but that isn’t always the case. We need constant vigilance to prevent silly (and possibly embarrassing or costly) mistakes. Here is a Dos and Don’ts reminder list that is now taped on my computer screen; perhaps something similar would be helpful to you.



• Don’t start a task unless you are alert
• Don’t rush
• Do write out exactly what needs to be documented or entered if dealing with financial or legal matters
• Do check your accuracy before you click the submit command

Remember, when it comes to working on computers, idiocy is only a click away. And when it comes to Aristotle’s principles, happiness is spelling your newly acquired domain name correctly.

 

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Post-Holiday School Stress Can Cause Family Distraction

January 16th, 2012

“I’m having trouble readjusting to a school sleep schedule.” “After the holidays, it’s hard to sit all day, do activities after school and study at night. Truthfully, I’m worried about finals.”

These are some of the comments I’ve heard as I work with students returning from holiday vacations—and it’s not the way families want to kick off 2012. The situation warrants a closer look.

The beginning of the New Year coincides with the ending of the academic semester for most high school students. Just as their parents are plunging back into post-holiday work and home responsibilities, these adolescents are worried about final papers, examinations and college admissions tests. In some households, job worries have forced parents to go back to school themselves; add in the needs of siblings or other caregiving obligations and you have families operating in a pressure cooker.



As the days tick by, the nervousness increases, each member thinking that the others don’t understand their angst about upcoming deadlines and tasks. Adolescents frequently lack the organization, advanced reading and study skills, insights and coping skills to deal with test stress—and they resent any outreach or help from the family. Parents—assailed by the negative economy and other distressing life conditions—are already stretched thin and feeling like they are spinning out of control.

How can parents de-stress this situation? Here are some tips:

1. Stop the carousel and review your values. Identify your goals for the family and for your high school students. Depressurize the situation with realistic goals. Not every student gets an A in every course.
2. Begin to exert control by making a list of family and household tasks. At the same time, help or get help so your adolescent can develop their list of tasks and chores. Jot down due-dates tied to these responsibilities.
3. Schedule a time when everyone is alert and relaxed and discuss the stresses and strains, including the ways your family has successfully dealt with such situations. Identify ways of de-stressing by exercising, relaxing, and working together. Discuss ways of dealing with stress since most teens do not have fully developed coping skills
4. Ensure that students have the additional resources they may need. Do they need a math or other tutor? Or maybe just a neutral, supportive person nearby to provide a calming effect? Could they benefit from contact with an instructor to gain information about requirements or extensions? Ask how you can help them. For example, would your student like an e-mail or text message to remind them to go to the library?
5. Recognize that distractions abound for students trying to study. Designate a quiet, non-distracting study location and institute an electronic lockdown for twenty minute periods. Schedule frequent, short breaks.
6. Look for signs of stress and don’t ignore them. Commonly, adults and adolescents experience symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches, sleep difficulties, overeating or lack of appetite, and irritability. Schedule relaxation periods and opportunities to enjoy shared time. Contact a counselor or physician if symptoms increase dramatically.
7. Provide students with ways of dealing with test stress, for example: I Don’t Want to Lose Time Reading The Entire Test, or I Feel Confused and Overwhelmed with Essay Test Questions.

The high school years are a time to balance adolescent angst with family nurturing and fun. For many families, however, school stress distracts them from relaxation and recreation.  What’s your 2012 resolution to disallow stress from distracting your family from fun and camaraderie? Share your thoughts about this issue in the comments section.

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Use a Schedule to Reduce Distraction and Stress

December 22nd, 2011

 

Almost 30 people for a Chanukah party, with the same number of family and friends scheduled for Christmas dinner. Food shopping, gifts, telephone calls, greeting cards—I do love it, but I need to be organized. Otherwise, I get crazed, scattered and suffer from an Excedrin level headache.

During the final weeks of the year, it seems like time flies as you strive to complete a never-ending number of tasks.  It’s easy to become frazzled and stressed. Here is a Weekly Schedule to the rescue! Instead of having random thoughts and pressures drive you to distraction, stop for a few minutes to list and schedule what needs to be done.  It’s as simple as one, two, three. First, list the tasks. Second, prioritize the most essential. Third, schedule the times to complete each task.

Transferring items from your “to-do” list to a daily or weekly schedule helps you be more realistic in your planning. In addition, once the schedule has been written, it’s easier to spot conflicts, monitor your energy (or fatigue), and make changes when necessary. Lastly, ensure that you’re allowing enough time to complete the task or activity and allowing a few minutes to transition from one activity to the next.

Here’s a handy weekly schedule. If a week is too much to grapple with, take it day by day. Remember to leave some time to smile and enjoy others.

                                                              Weekly Schedule






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Distractions, Holidays and Your Racing Mind

December 12th, 2011

It’s that time: I’m hearing holiday music like “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” lilting through nearly every location I visit, from the grocery store to the mall to the sporting goods place. I should be picturing a beautiful Hallmark holiday scene, but instead I’m cold, grouchy and facing a long list of tasks, errands and upcoming events. I have to be careful to plan ahead, stick to a schedule and guard against distractions. Could I please have one holiday season in which I don’t lose the car keys, misplace receipts or forget where I hide the gifts?

In this season, we all share the possibility of experiencing a racing mind. You get up in the morning and immediately think, “Too much to do and too little time!” You’re going to three or four end-of-year-networking events, getting your holiday cards in the mail, shopping and preparing for the special dinners you’re hosting or attending—all on top of buying, wrapping and mailing gifts.  You’re deep into HOLIDAY OVERLOAD and too often, you’re being attacked by the Unruly Mind Demon: jumping from one thought to another, never really making a decision or an action plan. All your waking thoughts are consumed with “What if…” and “I’ve got to…” and “I’ll never be able to…” Worrying without taking action distracts you from completing tasks and leaves you feeling stressed instead of satisfied. Then the Unruly Mind Demon colludes with the Stress Demon to ruin your enjoyment of family, friends and the deeper meaning of the celebrations.

Don’t be your own worst enemy at holiday time; use strategies to tame these Demons and prevent negative feelings or mishaps. If you are suffering from a racing mind, imagine being a racecar driver. Like any successful driver, you can’t operate only in the fast lane.  You’ve got to modulate so you can navigate—and avoid obstacles. When the holiday countdown adds extra duties and activities to your already hectic schedule, you need to shift gears: slow down, get into neutral and move in a particular, productive direction. What you’re actually shifting is your attitude: for example, you may have many more creative ideas than can ever be realized, so it is important to make lists, prioritize and then pare down. If you’re not great at this, contact a trusted person and get help. If you’re like me, you have a practical friend or family member who will say, “Don’t be ridiculous! That’s too many people/too much food/too many gifts…”

Here are 7 tips for managing your racing mind:

1. Plan: identify the tasks that require alertness, speed and accuracy, and select times to complete them when you are more likely to be mindful and energetic. If you know that you will be somewhat fatigued or your attention span depleted, stick to safe, simple, mundane chores that can be accomplished even if you’re not at your best.
2. Schedule breaks during each day and every week: engage in activities to relax and slow down. For example, stretch, take some deep breaths, write in a journal, listen to music or rest. Even a 5-10 minute break works wonders for your energy and patience.
3. Ward off the temptation to go, go, go: say, “Stop. Now is not the time to do the extra chore. Now is the time to complete what I’m doing and get home.”
4. Use visualization: imagine that you are actually downshifting and walk or move more slowly. Slow your body movements and perhaps your mind will follow.
5. Use productive self-talk: say, “Work slowly and accurately on one thing at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
6. Deal with bouts of unbounded creativity: make a list and call it “Great Ideas I Can’t Act upon Now.” Create a sign and post it for yourself: “Reduce by 25% the number of things you think you MUST do.”
7. Enjoy nature: take a 5-10 minute walk. If the weather is ugly, try a video with or without music.

Most people are particularly vulnerable to the pressures and stresses imposed by the holidays. To enjoy the true meaning of the holiday season, take care of yourself by slowing down your racing mind. In the end, you’ll get more done, feel more satisfied and better enjoy time with your friends and family.

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Positive Distractions: Broadway Musicals and the Radio City Music Hall

December 5th, 2011

With 50” televisions and Netflix, it’s easy to forget the thrill of being at a successful Broadway musical.  There’s the excellence of the stars and the seamless flow of the drama, music, and dance.  In my most recent experience at “Follies,” there was a serious and poignant plot interwoven with flawless singing and dancing.



The song and dance routines—production numbers—were mesmerizing, especially when the elaborately costumed chorus girls looked so breathtakingly beautiful and graceful. Against the backdrop of action, there were scenes in which the lead, Bernadette Peters, was so charismatic that she held the audience’s attention for a full minute while pondering her situation alone on stage. The audience was hushed and there wasn’t a cough or other sound to break the silence. In another scene, again as the sole performer on stage, she gave a riveting rendition of Stephen Sondheim’s “Losing My Mind.” For the few hours I spent in the theatre, I enjoyed a positive distraction from life’s more serious situations.

Once out of the theatre, I was filled with memories of other magical evenings at New York theatres.  My mom, Anne, loved shows and we went to see many matinees: Oklahoma, Kiss Me Kate, South Pacific, Gypsy, and Kismet.

In addition to Broadway musicals, there were performances at the Radio City Music Hall, where my dad, Charlie Ponte, was first chair of oboe and English horn. I grew up watching the Christmas and Easter extravaganzas featuring movies such as Easter Parade and In the Good Old Summer Time, as well as many arias, ballet scenes and of course, the Rockettes.



On some occasions, the more interesting show was backstage at the Music Hall: my mom and I got to watch some of the rehearsals.  It was clear that to attain excellence required hours and hours of discipline and dedication. And it wasn’t only the Rockettes who labored. Nothing was more impressive (frightening, actually) than watching the conductor, Ernö Rapée, whip the musicians into shape. I saw him and another Italian conductor, Arturo Toscanini of the NBC Symphony, yell at and berate even the finest soloists. These conductors were tyrants and there was little positive reinforcement in the old school. Both conductors were tough, critical leaders with no patience for amateurism. I knew the practice required for any professional in the Big Apple because I saw my dad practice 4-6 hours a day at home as well as at the theatre.

Given my early experiences, not only do I enjoy the diversion of musical theatre, I’m aware of the work and tedious attention to detail that is required to present a performance that allows the audience to lose themselves in the production.

In our age of technology, we may forget the special magic that occurs in the intimacy of a theatre as the overtures begins and the curtain goes up. There’s nothing better than a Broadway musical to lift your spirits and nurture your soul.

If you can’t get to the Great White Way, then:

• Consider going to the theatre when the touring company of a Broadway show comes to your town.
• Catch a production at one of the many wonderful regional and local performing arts events.
• Find out about productions of local schools and colleges.
• Listen to a CD of a musical.
• Watch a DVD of a musical.
• Give tickets as holiday or birthday gifts.

Remember: as Ethel Merman belted out, “There’s No Business like Show Business” when it comes to positive distractions.  See you at the stage door!

 

 

 

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