Don’t Be Distracted from Planning for Your Later Years

Guest Post by Jane Heineken

geraldine markel, demons, distraction, stress, discomfort, anxiety, focus, lack, overwhelm

My husband probably notices it more than anyone else these days: the newest frown line fossilizing into my forehead, the unusually long lapses into silence on the car rides, the hesitation when friends casually ask what’s new. The distraction of worrying about elderly family members underlies daily life like a constant ground fog.

My parents’ life situation—as well as our relationship—reads like a Facebook status: it’s complicated. My sister and I wish nothing more than for them to be in a safe, comfortable environment where their many needs are met and they are able to enjoy the things and people that still give them pleasure. Unfortunately, they are not, due to a mixture of bad breaks, bad decisions and decades of denial and resistance. As we approach the half century mark ourselves, she and I ponder how we might choose a different road for our own future. I think it requires taking on the Unruly Mind Demon: the distractor that has you focusing on the wrong things.

We live in a culture that emphasizes the negative aspects of aging, and of course, there are plenty: physical limitations and medical crises, emotional losses and financial challenges. Worrying about these things may cause feelings of sadness and fear, which can make it difficult to think and act in productive ways. We’ve all seen Hollywood stars pursue a youthful outward appearance at the expense of their overall health. Fear can drive people to focus on material objects instead of relationships or to procrastinate rather than tackling tasks while they still have the strength and energy to complete them. Worst of all, fear can prevent family members from discussing important topics such as end-of-life care, creating bad feelings right at the time when loved ones need each other most. However, neither obsession nor avoidance can prevent the march of time. Change is always scary, but if we wish for a life of both long length and good quality, we need to push through the fears that hijack our thoughts and distract us from becoming informed, making choices and taking action while we still have the ability to do so.

Geraldine markel, demons distraction, aging, focus, overwhelm

Going through these experiences with my parents has inspired me to look for positives to counterbalance the negatives. Broadening my friend circle to include older adults outside my family gives me other perspectives and models to follow. [See also: http://demonsofdistraction.com/blog/2011/11/21/don%e2%80%99t-let-your-age-distract-you-from-your-dreams/ ] Becoming involved in community service, such as Christmas caroling in area nursing homes and visiting with the residents, has also been an uplifting activity. Dialoging with others of my generation about elder-care and our own coming senior years has brought an unexpected measure of understanding and support. Should my husband and I be granted the privilege of an old age, I know it won’t be easy for us or for my daughter. But I hope that we will have taken care of many of the situational and procedural matters in a timely manner so that we can focus on enjoying each other and the rest of our family.

Jane Heineken has been a Managing Your Mind staffer since 2006. She is a graduate of Eastern Michigan University and Washtenaw Community College. Her special interests include child development, family communication, and cross-cultural communication.

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Distraction and the Ferocious Fatigue Demon

Geraldine Markel, Demons Distraction Productivity Computer Mistake Stress Overwhelm Work LifeSometimes, when I’m tossing and turning in bed at night about something that I need to get done, I just have to vow, “I’ll do it first thing tomorrow!” However, that doesn’t always take into account the reality of 6:30 am on a cold, dark, Michigan winter morning. So here I sit, bleary-eyed and rather fuzzy before my first cup of coffee, but determined to cross this task off my list and move on. Gary Madvin and I have completed a book that’s ready to go to the publisher; it’s time to obtain a domain name and a website so we can plan our marketing strategy. The title of the book is, “Finding Happiness with Aristotle: Action Strategies Based on 10 Timeless Ideas.”

I yawn and begin going through online menus. I’ve purchased domain names before; no big deal. Oh, no; the domain name I want, “Finding Happiness.com,” is taken. Drat. It’s too early to be creative.  I rub my eyes and search for a while, and eventually discover that www.HappinesswithAristotle.com is available. I log in, type it into the box, and pay for it. Then a confirmation email arrives, thanking me for purchasing www.HappinesswithArtistotle.com. Wait, what? Artistotle?? Did I really just misspell the name of an ancient sage that I’ve been studying for months?

I have fallen prey to an attack by the ferocious Fatigue Demon. This is not the kind of action that Aristotle recommends to achieve a happy life. I am not at all happy. I picture Aristotle peering down at me from the Heavens as the dawn breaks, scowling or sneering or perhaps thoroughly amused at the site of this woman sitting in front of a laptop in her pajamas, her hands buried in her bed-head-tousled hair. I really, really should have had my morning coffee before I went online.

Fortunately, the customer service guru at www.godaddy.com is sympathetic to my plight and saves the day. He refunds the misspelled name and rights my wrong.

Reflecting on my silly mistake, I see that it wasn’t random or silly; it was all very predictable: stressing about my responsibilities led to insufficient sleep and lack of alertness. Luckily, I was able to get things corrected—but that isn’t always the case. We need constant vigilance to prevent silly (and possibly embarrassing or costly) mistakes. Here is a Dos and Don’ts reminder list that is now taped on my computer screen; perhaps something similar would be helpful to you.

Stop, Hand, Geraldine Markel, Demons Distraction Fatigue Focus Productivity Stress

  • Don’t start a task unless you are alert
  • Don’t rush
  • Do write out exactly what needs to be documented or entered if dealing with financial or legal matters
  • Do check your accuracy before you click the submit command

Remember, when it comes to working on computers, idiocy is only a click away. And when it comes to Aristotle’s principles, happiness is spelling your newly acquired domain name correctly.

 

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Post-Holiday School Stress Can Cause Family Distraction

school stress, geri markel, managing your mind, demons, distraction, exams, applications, study, essays“I’m having trouble readjusting to a school sleep schedule.” “After the holidays, it’s hard to sit all day, do activities after school and study at night. Truthfully, I’m worried about finals.”

These are some of the comments I’ve heard as I work with students returning from holiday vacations—and it’s not the way families want to kick off 2012. The situation warrants a closer look.

The beginning of the New Year coincides with the ending of the academic semester for most high school students. Just as their parents are plunging back into post-holiday work and home responsibilities, these adolescents are worried about final papers, examinations and college admissions tests. In some households, job worries have forced parents to go back to school themselves; add in the needs of siblings or other caregiving obligations and you have families operating in a pressure cooker.

family, stress, managing your mind, demons, distraction, geri markel, exams, essays, study, holiday, work, overwhelm

As the days tick by, the nervousness increases, each member thinking that the others don’t understand their angst about upcoming deadlines and tasks. Adolescents frequently lack the organization, advanced reading and study skills, insights and coping skills to deal with test stress—and they resent any outreach or help from the family. Parents—assailed by the negative economy and other distressing life conditions—are already stretched thin and feeling like they are spinning out of control.

How can parents de-stress this situation? Here are some tips:

  1. Stop the carousel and review your values. Identify your goals for the family and for your high school students. Depressurize the situation with realistic goals. Not every student gets an A in every course.
  2. Begin to exert control by making a list of family and household tasks. At the same time, help or get help so your adolescent can develop their list of tasks and chores. Jot down due-dates tied to these responsibilities.
  3. Schedule a time when everyone is alert and relaxed and discuss the stresses and strains, including the ways your family has successfully dealt with such situations. Identify ways of de-stressing by exercising, relaxing, and working together. Discuss ways of dealing with stress since most teens do not have fully developed coping skills
  4. Ensure that students have the additional resources they may need. Do they need a math or other tutor? Or maybe just a neutral, supportive person nearby to provide a calming effect? Could they benefit from contact with an instructor to gain information about requirements or extensions? Ask how you can help them. For example, would your student like an e-mail or text message to remind them to go to the library?
  5. Recognize that distractions abound for students trying to study. Designate a quiet, non-distracting study location and institute an electronic lockdown for twenty minute periods. Schedule frequent, short breaks.
  6. Look for signs of stress and don’t ignore them. Commonly, adults and adolescents experience symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches, sleep difficulties, overeating or lack of appetite, and irritability. Schedule relaxation periods and opportunities to enjoy shared time. Contact a counselor or physician if symptoms increase dramatically.
  7. Provide students with ways of dealing with test stress, for example: I Don’t Want to Lose Time Reading The Entire Test, or I Feel Confused and Overwhelmed with Essay Test Questions.

The high school years are a time to balance adolescent angst with family nurturing and fun. For many families, however, school stress distracts them from relaxation and recreation.  What’s your 2012 resolution to disallow stress from distracting your family from fun and camaraderie? Share your thoughts about this issue in the comments section.

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Use a Schedule to Reduce Distraction and Stress

 

Almost 30 people for a Chanukah party, with the same number of family and friends scheduled for Christmas dinner. Food shopping, gifts, telephone calls, greeting cards—I do love it, but I need to be organized. Otherwise, I get crazed, scattered and suffer from an Excedrin level headache.

During the final weeks of the year, it seems like time flies as you strive to complete a never-ending number of tasks.  It’s easy to become frazzled and stressed. Here is a Weekly Schedule to the rescue! Instead of having random thoughts and pressures drive you to distraction, stop for a few minutes to list and schedule what needs to be done.  It’s as simple as one, two, three. First, list the tasks. Second, prioritize the most essential. Third, schedule the times to complete each task.

Transferring items from your “to-do” list to a daily or weekly schedule helps you be more realistic in your planning. In addition, once the schedule has been written, it’s easier to spot conflicts, monitor your energy (or fatigue), and make changes when necessary. Lastly, ensure that you’re allowing enough time to complete the task or activity and allowing a few minutes to transition from one activity to the next.

Here’s a handy weekly schedule. If a week is too much to grapple with, take it day by day. Remember to leave some time to smile and enjoy others.

                                                              Weekly Schedule


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Distractions, Holidays and Your Racing Mind

It’s that time: I’m hearing holiday music like “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” lilting through nearly every location I visit, from the grocery store to the mall to the sporting goods place. I should be picturing a beautiful Hallmark holiday scene, but instead I’m cold, grouchy and facing a long list of tasks, errands and upcoming events. I have to be careful to plan ahead, stick to a schedule and guard against distractions. Could I please have one holiday season in which I don’t lose the car keys, misplace receipts or forget where I hide the gifts?

In this season, we all share the possibility of experiencing a racing mind. You get up in the morning and immediately think, “Too much to do and too little time!” You’re going to three or four end-of-year-networking events, getting your holiday cards in the mail, shopping and preparing for the special dinners you’re hosting or attending—all on top of buying, wrapping and mailing gifts.  You’re deep into HOLIDAY OVERLOAD and too often, you’re being attacked by the Unruly Mind Demon: jumping from one thought to another, never really making a decision or an action plan. All your waking thoughts are consumed with “What if…” and “I’ve got to…” and “I’ll never be able to…” Worrying without taking action distracts you from completing tasks and leaves you feeling stressed instead of satisfied. Then the Unruly Mind Demon colludes with the Stress Demon to ruin your enjoyment of family, friends and the deeper meaning of the celebrations.

Don’t be your own worst enemy at holiday time; use strategies to tame these Demons and prevent negative feelings or mishaps. If you are suffering from a racing mind, imagine being a racecar driver. Like any successful driver, you can’t operate only in the fast lane.  You’ve got to modulate so you can navigate—and avoid obstacles. When the holiday countdown adds extra duties and activities to your already hectic schedule, you need to shift gears: slow down, get into neutral and move in a particular, productive direction. What you’re actually shifting is your attitude: for example, you may have many more creative ideas than can ever be realized, so it is important to make lists, prioritize and then pare down. If you’re not great at this, contact a trusted person and get help. If you’re like me, you have a practical friend or family member who will say, “Don’t be ridiculous! That’s too many people/too much food/too many gifts…”

Here are 7 tips for managing your racing mind:

  1. Plan: identify the tasks that require alertness, speed and accuracy, and select times to complete them when you are more likely to be mindful and energetic. If you know that you will be somewhat fatigued or your attention span depleted, stick to safe, simple, mundane chores that can be accomplished even if you’re not at your best.
  2. Schedule breaks during each day and every week: engage in activities to relax and slow down. For example, stretch, take some deep breaths, write in a journal, listen to music or rest. Even a 5-10 minute break works wonders for your energy and patience.
  3. Ward off the temptation to go, go, go: say, “Stop. Now is not the time to do the extra chore. Now is the time to complete what I’m doing and get home.”
  4. Use visualization: imagine that you are actually downshifting and walk or move more slowly. Slow your body movements and perhaps your mind will follow.
  5. Use productive self-talk: say, “Work slowly and accurately on one thing at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
  6. Deal with bouts of unbounded creativity: make a list and call it “Great Ideas I Can’t Act upon Now.” Create a sign and post it for yourself: “Reduce by 25% the number of things you think you MUST do.”
  7. Enjoy nature: take a 5-10 minute walk. If the weather is ugly, try a video with or without music.

Most people are particularly vulnerable to the pressures and stresses imposed by the holidays. To enjoy the true meaning of the holiday season, take care of yourself by slowing down your racing mind. In the end, you’ll get more done, feel more satisfied and better enjoy time with your friends and family.

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Positive Distractions: Broadway Musicals and the Radio City Music Hall

Geraldine Markel, positive distraction, demons, musicals, broadway, stage, theaterWith 50” televisions and Netflix, it’s easy to forget the thrill of being at a successful Broadway musical.  There’s the excellence of the stars and the seamless flow of the drama, music, and dance.  In my most recent experience at “Follies,” there was a serious and poignant plot interwoven with flawless singing and dancing.

Geraldine Markel, Theater, Stage, Broadway, Demons, Distraction, Positive

The song and dance routines—production numbers—were mesmerizing, especially when the elaborately costumed chorus girls looked so breathtakingly beautiful and graceful. Against the backdrop of action, there were scenes in which the lead, Bernadette Peters, was so charismatic that she held the audience’s attention for a full minute while pondering her situation alone on stage. The audience was hushed and there wasn’t a cough or other sound to break the silence. In another scene, again as the sole performer on stage, she gave a riveting rendition of Stephen Sondheim’s “Losing My Mind.” For the few hours I spent in the theatre, I enjoyed a positive distraction from life’s more serious situations.

Once out of the theatre, I was filled with memories of other magical evenings at New York theatres.  My mom, Anne, loved shows and we went to see many matinees: Oklahoma, Kiss Me Kate, South Pacific, Gypsy, and Kismet.

In addition to Broadway musicals, there were performances at the Radio City Music Hall, where my dad, Charlie Ponte, was first chair of oboe and English horn. I grew up watching the Christmas and Easter extravaganzas featuring movies such as Easter Parade and In the Good Old Summer Time, as well as many arias, ballet scenes and of course, the Rockettes.

Geraldine Markel, Demons, Distraction, Positive, Dance, Theater, Stage, radio City Music Hall, Broadway

On some occasions, the more interesting show was backstage at the Music Hall: my mom and I got to watch some of the rehearsals.  It was clear that to attain excellence required hours and hours of discipline and dedication. And it wasn’t only the Rockettes who labored. Nothing was more impressive (frightening, actually) than watching the conductor, Ernö Rapée, whip the musicians into shape. I saw him and another Italian conductor, Arturo Toscanini of the NBC Symphony, yell at and berate even the finest soloists. These conductors were tyrants and there was little positive reinforcement in the old school. Both conductors were tough, critical leaders with no patience for amateurism. I knew the practice required for any professional in the Big Apple because I saw my dad practice 4-6 hours a day at home as well as at the theatre.

Given my early experiences, not only do I enjoy the diversion of musical theatre, I’m aware of the work and tedious attention to detail that is required to present a performance that allows the audience to lose themselves in the production.

In our age of technology, we may forget the special magic that occurs in the intimacy of a theatre as the overtures begins and the curtain goes up. There’s nothing better than a Broadway musical to lift your spirits and nurture your soul.

If you can’t get to the Great White Way, then:

  • Consider going to the theatre when the touring company of a Broadway show comes to your town.
  • Catch a production at one of the many wonderful regional and local performing arts events.
  • Find out about productions of local schools and colleges.
  • Listen to a CD of a musical.
  • Watch a DVD of a musical.
  • Give tickets as holiday or birthday gifts.

Remember: as Ethel Merman belted out, “There’s No Business like Show Business” when it comes to positive distractions.  See you at the stage door!

 

 

 

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Distraction, Stress and Memory During the Holiday Season

People across the country were amused by the tale of a family whose “holiday stress” began even before Halloween: the young parents set out with their five-year-old and three-week-old infant to enjoy a corn maze on a pleasant fall afternoon.

They were probably glad to get out of the house after many sleepless nights with a newborn, and figured the walk would be soothing for the baby and amusing for the preschooler. However, it was slow going with the kids, and before they knew it, everyone else had cleared out, darkness fell, and hordes of hungry mosquitos descended upon them. Exhausted, disoriented and panicking, they called 911 on their cell phone and had to be “rescued” by a police tracking dog. Naturally, it turned out that they were only a few yards from an exit—but the Fatigue Demon had impaired their ability to cope with the situation.

Once the Thanksgiving holiday hits, the entire end of the year can seem like a giant labyrinth to be navigated. You can easily lose your way—literally as well as figuratively! I was reminded of this when I ventured to Costco for holiday supplies and ended up “schlepping” a cart full of goodies from row to row in the jam-packed parking lot, trying to find my car and muttering obscenities as the cold wind whipped through my thin sweater.

Geraldine Markel, Managing Your Mind, Distraction, Holidays, Overwhelm, Shopping, Car, Parking Lot, BusyAt least I’m not the only one; with so many things to think about and accomplish in such a short time, it’s no wonder everyone gets distracted. I happened to follow a pair of teens at the mall who were so caught up in their shopping spree that they completely failed to notice where they had parked. They complained noisily about all of their upcoming holiday obligations as they lugged their packages from level to level, trying to find the right mall exit. And I had to chuckle at the tale of a friend who left a fitness center spinning class on an endorphin high, only to be brought down to reality when dragging his workout gear around the parking lot in the rain, frantically clicking his key fob and searching for flashing taillights because he couldn’t remember where his car was. Holiday madness can cause minor glitches like these, or more serious ones like losing purses or wallets or getting into fender-benders.

Too much on your plate? You need to expect that the rushing and stress associated with the holidays will result in some forgetfulness and disorganization—but you can learn to reduce the possible overwhelm and resulting distraction.

Consider the timing: there is a lull in the week or two after Thanksgiving when the pressure eases a bit, but by mid-December, holiday hassles are in full swing. Take advantage of this window right now to avoid the worst of the stress mess and time-wasting: use projecting, planning, and protecting. Here are some suggestions:

Projecting: First, it helps to get out of your head and onto a piece of paper (or portable electronic device) all the things that you think must be done. For example:

-          Specify the parties you will host or attend and items or dishes you must bring.

-          Jot down the gifts to get, cards to send and any other communication or mailing responsibilities that need to be accomplished.

-          Itemize the cleaning, organizing and food shopping that you need to do.

After you make your lists, review them, asking, “What items are not absolutely necessary? Can any jobs or responsibilities be delegated? Can some meals be reclassified as a ‘potluck’ where others contribute a dish or course?”

Planning: Second, it helps to move items from a list to a calendar.  Think about how long each task might take. Be generous with your time estimates. How often have you underestimated the complexity or cumbersome nature of a task and overestimated your skills at getting a job done?  Allot times each day or week to get a bit done. Perhaps you schedule time on a weekend to prepare and freeze some appetizers, main dishes or desserts. Or, perhaps you plan ahead to buy packing materials needed to send gifts to those who live out of town.  Whether it’s making out the holiday cards, wrapping gifts, cooking or cleaning, if it is important, schedule it.

Protecting: Third, it helps to protect some of your time to keep stress at a minimum and to get the rest and relaxation you need for the extra work (and enjoyment) of the holiday season. You might have to ask others to help you schedule short breaks and rest times—even during the busiest times. You might consider building in time to exercise. Given the inevitable food excesses, wouldn’t it be nice to avoid gaining holiday weight by increasing your exercise routine? In addition, block out private time with those who will visit. It’s no fun for guests to see the host running around without a minute to enjoy the ones he or she loves.

Unlike the family stuck in the corn maze, you can’t call 911 to help you find your way through the Thanksgiving-to-New-Years craziness. It’s impossible to banish all the distractions that surround the holiday season, but you can help reduce the most difficult ones by planning ahead and taking action. In case you need a quick stress buster, turn on some great music or watch a calming nature scene such as the one below that features penguins.

 

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Don’t Let Your Age Distract You from Your Dreams

Geraldine Markel, Demons of Distraction, Uncle Eddie, Movies, Famous, Dreams, Aspirations, Age, Ed, Gluklick, DetroitYou’ve heard someone say, “I’d love to be in the movies” or “I wish I could win a gold medal.” We all have some seemingly unrealistic dreams and too often, the decades go by and we forget about them.

Not our uncle, Ed Gluklick: at 86, he was an extra in Gran Torino a 2008 American drama film directed by, produced by and starring Clint Eastwood. Hearing that it would be filmed in Detroit, he got his professional head shots and went to the audition. As we were unaware of his adventure, when we watched the film, we were surprised to see him in the jury box sporting a bow tie!

Geri Markel, Managing Your Mind, Demons, Distraction, Ed, Gluklick, Senior, Olympics, Famous, Winner Always disciplined, Uncle Eddie swims regularly. At 89, he entered the 27th ANNUAL DETROIT SENIOR OLYMPICS held in mid June. He won gold medals for the 50 meter Free Style and the 1500 Meter Race Walk.

Now that he has reached his 90th birthday, the question is, “What’s next?’ Uncle Eddie is a role model for us all.

 

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Distraction, Stress and Travel

Geri Markel, Demons, Distraction, Holiday, Travel, Vacation, Stress, Kids, Late, Airport, PlanesYears ago, my three youngsters pulled and tugged at me as I was getting out of the car. We were at the busy, almost-filled airport parking structure. Of course, a few minutes behind schedule and distracted, I locked the keys in the car and was unable to get the luggage for our trip to the Big Apple.  We were on the way to grandma’s house.  I landed at LaGuardia with three youngsters under 10, two coloring books, one box of crayons, and a bag of pretzels. Luckily, my husband brought the suitcases the next day, but I don’t have to go into detail about the stress.

Going alone or with family, we need to be cognizant of the ways we can avoid travel stresses or manage them positively, if they occur. During holiday journeys, the phrase, “Hope for the best, but plan for the worst,” is the way to de-stress.

Millions of people will fly over the holiday season on planes stuffed nearly to capacity. You don’t need a statistical study to make you aware that travel stress is reaching new heights. Some of the factors that lead to the stress at airports are more intense security checks, more disruptions due to inappropriate cell phone use, and rudeness by fatigued travelers—and sometimes airline personnel—when there are delays or cancellations.  You may avoid these problems when driving or riding the rails, but each of those types of transportation has their own stresses. In short, travel is a heap of hassle during the holiday season.

Geri Markel, Demons, Distraction, Travel, Holidays, Vacation, Kids, Stress, Road Trip, Organization

Here are some tips to help to de-stress holiday travel:

  1. Plan ahead and take it slow. Stop trying to do that last-minute task in the office or house before you leave.
  2. Make a list of essentials that you or others need to take. Imagine the places you’ll be or the worst-case scenarios that could arise and think of things you need, such as calming music or funny movie on DVD.
  3. Bring a few creature comforts in case you can get some shuteye. For example, even kids might like a set of soft earplugs, a story on a CD or podcast, a neck pillow, or eye covers. If kids bring a favorite toy, tie or clip it to the backpack!
  4. Be a savvy packer. Plan wardrobes to fit in one, carry-on case.
  5. Bring empty water bottles to fill after security checks, and healthy snacks or sandwiches.
  6. Review with your family three sure-fire ways to reduce stress if it occurs. This includes deep breathing, singing a song or remembering some positives.
  7. Engage in some form of exercise in case of long delays. Even walking or climbing stairs can take the edge off when you’re fidgety, stiff or bored.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Geri Markel, Demons, Distraction, Travel with Kids, Airports, Holidays, Vacation, Stress, Organization
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Don’t Get Distracted from Hiring an Assistant, Part 2: I Need One, Now What?

Geri Markel, Demons, Distraction, Personal Assistant, Help, Workload, Overwhelm

Did you read the writing on the wall in my last blog post?[http://demonsofdistraction.com/blogpart-i-do-i-need-help/] Have you decided that your small business would benefit from hiring an assistant? Whether you work in an office, at home or off-site, you have a number of options.

First, you have to assess your needs. There will always be business tasks that are not your favorite or your strongest area of aptitude. If you are planning to pay for outside assistance, however, you should focus on getting help in those areas that would improve your profitability and grow your business. Determine frequency and scheduling: full-time, part-time or occasional? Secondly, consider the level of expertise you need: it may be someone highly specialized, or merely someone who is smart, motivated and organized. You must also be able to work comfortably with an assistant, so pay attention to his or her communication skills and manner. A possible third decision is to consider a virtual assistant rather than an on-site person.

A number of my colleagues use a virtual assistant: a freelance person who works from his or her location using the Internet and telephone to communicate with you, and who is hired only for the tasks you specify. These colleagues find it easier to supervise and monitor results this way. Depending on your situation, this could be more efficient and cost-effective. VA Networking [http://www.vanetworking.com/virtual-assistant-cost-comparison.htm ], a forum for these professionals, reminds employers that, “Although the Virtual Assistant’s hourly rate is more than the employee’s rate in the first place, you save the cost of benefits and overhead that would have to be applied to the new employee’s wage.”

In my case, I invited several interns from a nearby business college program to set me up with the Quick Books Pro system. While doing so, they determined that using a certain vendor to sell my products was actually losing me money—a very helpful insight. My present business assistant, Karen, helps me keep up with Quick Books about twice a month so that invoices are sent on time and revenues offset expenses.

My other priority turned out to be assistance with writing projects. I hired a student to file research materials, past publications, and general office paper clutter. Improving my writing environment and having easier access to my resources has increased my productivity; for example, it only took a third of the time it has taken in the past to complete the References section of my upcoming book, “Actions against Distractions: Saving Your Scattered, Disorganized, and Forgetful Mind.” I also now employ the services of two types of editors: one for less formal, ongoing writing needs, and another, professional editor for manuscripts.

There is no single formula for finding a good assistant, but I have found that it helps  to stay open to and aware of the resources in your social, professional and community networks. As mentioned above, I have often turned to the local colleges for student interns and employees; some may work for academic credit, while others charge reasonable hourly fees in order to gain experience. I became connected to other valued employees through family members, volunteer work, and even fitness training!

Of course, needs and priorities change just as the business climate changes: I am still considering further assistance with graphic design, social media and other areas of technology and marketing. Like many, I used to think that I “should” be able to do it all, but the realities of running a small business have taught me that in fact, I shouldn’t and I mustn’t.

Geri Markel, Demons, Distraction, Personal Assistant, Help, Workload, Overwhelm, Checklist, TasksHere are some steps to follow as you launch the process of hiring some help:

  1. Go to a quiet, non-distracting location, away from your business. For some, the library would be best, for others, only Starbucks will do.
  2. Relax for a few minutes so you can get your “thinking cap” on and be in a business frame of mind.
  3. Spend at least 15 to 30 minutes visualizing your last few weeks, then jot down tasks that you hate, avoid, do poorly or do inefficiently.
  4. List the positive and negative consequences that are related to each item you listed. Consider consequences that are related to time, money, energy and satisfaction.
  5. Nail down the skills required by an assistant to complete a few of the tasks. For example, does the person need to be tech savvy? Do they need specific skills with Microsoft Office, Quick Books or social media?
  6. Budget your estimated costs: given the consequences you listed and the skill level you need, how much are you willing to spend to hire someone on a temporary or project basis? For instance, a high school student doing filing may be $8-$10 an hour, a college student handling bookkeeping from $10-$15, and a specialized virtual assistant for manuscript preparation from $25 to $35 an hour.
  7. Keep a sense of humor. Even the best assistants make mistakes. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/07/28/production-assistant-news-blooper_n_911985.html).
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